This is how I felt when I received the call from the doctor.
Sigh…Just breathe…Smile…Cry…Relief…Praise the Lord!
That was how I felt last week when I received the news.
Not long ago, I had received a postcard in the mail reminding me that it is that time of year to schedule my appointment.
I called the hospital, made the appointment, and informed them of a possible issue that needed some attention. When I arrived at the lab on the morning of my appointment, I wanted to confirm that my diagnostic mammogram was ordered. The nurse had a puzzled look on her face and said, “Ummm, we only do diagnostic mammos on Mondays and Thursday.”
The doctor had ordered the diagnostic mammogram with a sonogram, yet my appointment was mistakenly scheduled on a Wednesday. The nurse noticed that there was an opening the following morning at 8:00, so I said, “I’ll take it!”
Tim didn’t go with me to the Wednesday appointment, but his schedule allowed him the opportunity to go with me on Thursday. As we were awaiting my tests, the thought did cross my mind, “What if my appointment was rescheduled because Tim needed to be here for support if I were to receive any unwanted news?” A couple of days later, Tim admitted that he had the same thought.
The results informed the doctor that I had a swollen lymph node and about a half inch in size “something” around the same area (I don’t recall the medical term). Both doctors, one from the hospital and my family physician, believed that all was well, but wanted to confirm with a CT-Scan.
The scan was ordered, and we were ready to go on the following Monday. Unfortunately, the timing for my insurance company needing another approval from my doctor, and my physician’s vacation were causing a delay in the scan.
Two weeks later…the CT-Scan was performed.
During the three-week period, many “What ifs?” came to mind. Even Tim, who NEVER talks about me going before him, had made a comment along the lines of, “I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you…”
God and I chatted daily, He kept me in the word, yet my writing and sharing was on hold. I was internalizing this entire process. Only a handful (if that) of folks were on the radar about my situation, besides my husband and kids.
While I was meeting with my precious friend, Karen, who is revamping the soakinguptheson.com site (stay tuned), my situation came into our conversation. I mentioned to Karen that if I do not hear from the doctor today by two o’clock, I was calling. The phone rang at 1:15PM. My dear doctor was calling me to let me know that, indeed…all was well. Sigh…Just breathe…Hugs…Smile…Cry…Relief…Praise the Lord!
Tim was out of town when I heard the results, so I texted him. He informed me that that text was what he needed to hear.
When Cole came home from school, I told him how relieved I was. He opened his long arms wide, walked over to me, and gave me a big hug and a huge smile.
I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me, and my family.
Why? Why do we allow those “what ifs?” to come into our psyche? Oh, yea, probably because WE ARE NOT GOD. We are human. Even when we know that He is in control of everything, the stresses of life can easily oppress us.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27
When Jesus was said He was giving us peace, He didn’t just give us any peace, but HIS peace. A peace dependent on trust. The world’s peace depends on feelings.
“Stand firm, and you will win life.” Luke 21:19
“When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought me joy.” Psalm 94:19
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
Friends, troubles and trials will come our way. Anxieties will trap us. Our hearts will be burdened. But…remember:
- Stand firm in Christ.
- Turn to God in trouble times and allow His joy to wash over you.
- Run to God and find rest in Him.
- Give thanks.
Blessings to you and yours,
Stephanie