I’ll never forget the feeling that engulfed me when I saw porn.
When I was nineteen years young, I was asked to babysit two young boys. Their mother was out of town, and the dad had work to do. I knew the family quite well, and had no issues with keeping an eye on the boys.
After a successful day of babysitting, the boys’ father came home. He made sure his sons were playing in another room, when he said, “Come here, Stephanie, I have something I want you to see.”
Unaware of what I was about to view, he patted the seat beside him for me to sit there, then proceeded to turn on the television. My naïve self, while sitting beside a man whom I called my friend, so innocently began to watch a show. It didn’t take long before this “show” turned into a pornographic video we were watching.
Only a few minutes passed, and my mind was still trying to process what was taking place, when I felt his hand attempt to rest on my knee. I look at him with befuddlement, removed his hand, and nervously uttered the words, “I need to go.”
An excruciating and nauseating feeling overwhelmed me as I was amid, and for quite some time afterwards, processing what took place.
Today, my pastor ended a sermon series titled “Finally Free”. This morning’s sermon was specifically regarding “Freed by Self-Control”, with an emphasis on breaking free from addiction. The concepts taught could apply to any type of addiction, yet today’s sermon prominence focused on the addiction of pornography.
Boy oh boy did Pastor Brian Stowe bring it on! His passion, concern, and immediate desire to help others to be free the addiction (or even the slight dabbling in) was powerful.
I want to share some of the key points from Pastor Brian’s sermon. PLEASE read, be prayerful, and share with others who may need this information:
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- God is with you in temptation. Temptation will happen in your daily routine.
- Have safeguards in your life. Get accountability. Get filters for your electronic devices. Put up safeguards in your dealing with other of the opposite sex.
- Regardless of the addiction, the call is for every believer to exhibit self-control, which can only happen through a dependent walk with Christ.
- An appeal to every married person. Flirting with temptation is never the answer to “spicing” up your marriage. Introducing pornography is NEVER the answer to having a better marriage or intimacy. Do not allow pornography in to your life or into your home or into your bedroom. It will never satisfy or be satisfied. It’s just like sin (because it is) – it will take more of you and damage more of you than you ever imagined!
- What can you do?
- Guys: love your wife, apologize to her, compliment her, listen to her, send her flowers, talk about life (share your heart…she can tell what you did that day by looking at the calendar, so really talk), watch what she watches (even the Hallmark channel where we can all predict the ending), do what she wants, think about her, value her, flirt with her, sacrifice for her, date her, take her calls, and so many more ideas.
- Girls: love your man, cherish him, apologize, hold his hand, kiss on lips, want to be around him, talk about you two (not the kids all the time), guard and protect the trust at all cost, affirm him, respect him, flirt with him, and respond to him, and again…so many more ideas.
- And I’ll add to this list…PRAY WITH AND FOR EACH OTHER. I’m sure that was obvious, but still a reminder. Might I add…fast and pray on your knees.
- God is with you while you wait. God is doing more in your waiting period than you realize. Don’t get bitter. God can use you in your wait time. What you learn in your waiting time will affect the rest of your life.
- What now?
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- Crucify the flesh (Galatians 5:24) DAILY.
- Seek godly accountability.
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- Seek help. Counseling website: https://fightthenewdrug.org
- Which describes you the best: the works of the flesh or the fruit of the spirit?
Pornography has been a thorn-in-the-the-side-of-marriages, and other relationships, for years. I read the five years ago, the porn business grossed over $13 BILLION. Yes, billion!
I know of dear ones who have battled, or are currently struggling, with pornography in their lives. Relationships can be torn apart or through the recovery process, made right.
Remember the movie Fireproof? Well, if you haven’t seen it, or even need a refresher, this movie depicts how a husband’s addiction to porn was dismantling his marriage. Yet, reminds us how we serve a mighty God, and through many trials while still trying to hold on to His truth, marriage can be saved. AMEN!
I want to encourage you to:
- Watch my pastor’s sermon, once it is available. Click on the following link and view the November 26, 2017 sermon. https://www.fbcpc.com/media
- Reread those “things to do for guys and girls” an apply them to your life. Even if you don’t have a porn addiction, these are great techniques to “spice up” your marriage.
- Fight for your marriage!
- Pray with one another
- Get godly help.
- Don’t lose hope. God is good.
- Repent!
Blessings to you and yours,
Stephanie