Priorities
Written:  April 2006
Approximately four years ago I began a transformation that still continues today.  I was the woman that “had my hand in many pies”, “wore various hats”, or as others may say tried to be “Super Woman”.  I was living the life of wanting to be the best wife, best mom, best friend, best community service woman, whatever it was, I was trying to be the best at it, and found my self in a sea of selfishness and still not being the best.  I wanted my appearance to be so visible so that I looked good, and my husband looked good. I was handling things pretty well, until I kept hearing my husband’s voice say, “Why are you doing this?”  It was during that time that I began to take part in an in-depth Bible study.  A Beth Moore Bible Study to be exact.  This woman has a technique of showing scripture to you in a way you never thought you could see and understand it.  My prayer life began to change and grow, scriptures from the old and New Testament began to relate poetically to me, transformation was beginning to occur.
This is when the evaluation took place for me to answer the question that Tim would ask, “Why are you doing this?”  One day I got out a sheet of paper and wrote down all the activities that I was involved in.  Much like you did as a young girl writing down the pros and cons of a guy you think you are in “deep like” with, or when a husband and wife sit down to write down the pros and cons of deciding what car to buy, or neighborhood to live in, or if you should stop working outside of the home and be a stay-at-home mother.  Well, my list grew to about twelve extra-curricular activities that I found myself swimming, or should I say drowning, in.  After I listed my activities I looked at each, prayed about each one, asked my self “why am I doing this?”, and prayed some more.  My list almost instantly began to dwindle down to nearly nothing.
The more I grew in my relationship with Christ, the more I discovered that I didn’t need the “appearance” that I thought I needed before.  I focused on (1) my relationship with God, (2) my family, (3) my church, and (4) the only outside extra-curricular activity I do is coordinate the Strawberry Queen’s contest via the Lions Auxiliary.
My God is so amazing!  Is it work to keep my relationship strong with God?  You bet!  Just like any relationship in life, you get to know someone the more time you spend with them.  I can tell those times when I am out of a Bible study.  I need that accountability.  My attitude can become not as gentle when I’m not talking with and studying about God.  I treasure the time that I spend with Him, and want others to feel the same way.  He is the Best Friend you could ever ask for.
Due to the fact that my desire grows more to know God, my relationship with my husband and children grow more also.  I sometimes wonder if they know how much I love them.  There are days when Satan creeps up and I push aside fun time or even simple down time with my family because my house isn’t clean, or I need to help someone else with a need, but then those are the times that God humbles me and I either stop what I’m focusing on or include them in on the project.  This is a daily struggle that I still have because I still do have the tendency to want to “appear” that I’ve got things under control.  But God is the ultimate comedian and has a funny way of reminding me that it’s not “I’, but HE that is in control.  My husband and children do know that I love them dearly.  Probably a little too much at times, but isn’t’ that what a wife and mother is supposed to do?  I will never forget the illustration that Tommy Warnock gave one time.  He showed a diagram of a triangle.  God was at the top, you were on one side, and someone else was on the other.  The closer to God each person grew, the closer to each other they became.  I can testify to that simple diagram, not just in my relationship with Tim, but in others too.  Plus, let’s face it, I could take out all other responsibilities in my life, and be consumed with just the kids activities, especially with three.
Outside of keeping my God and my family at the top of my new priority list, my affiliation with my church was next.  Can one get too involved in a “good thing” like church?  Once again, you bet!  I could be so involved in so many areas at church because I love my church family and want others to grow closer to God.  Satan knows our weaknesses, and he knows that I like to “want to do it all”, so I must earnestly seek God’s guidance before I dive in to a new activity.  It would be easy to say, “yes” to everything that came my way through church because it would be simple to justify that “it’s a God thing”. That’s when we need discernment.  I was approached just the other day, for a second time, to be on a certain committee, but God hasn’t given me the go ahead.  Tim often keeps my sane too and reminds me of the question, “why are you doing this?”.  Who am I bringing glory to through various experiences, God or myself?  Sometimes church involvement has come my way or even has been taken away from me and I’ve learned to go in faith and be excited about what God has in store for me.
The last priority on my dwindled down list is the queen’s contest.  I thoroughly enjoy doing this event and feel blessed and honored that the Lion’s Club continues to allow me to do it.  I may overstep my “civic” boundaries every now and then, but I feel that I’m able to use this as a tool to be a positive influence and witness to young girls in our community. I’ve seen this pageant grow and have seen so many young girls transformed.  It’s a group effort to create this elegant affair and generous and Godly women in the auxiliary surround and assist me in the process. Every year I am able to share scripture and positive moments with anywhere from 20 to 35 young women.  It is my hope that these young ladies take from this pageant a wealth of life long lessons and hopefully they will not only grow in their knowledge about our community and the strawberry industry, but closer to knowing themselves as a child of God too.
So do I concern myself now with others looking at my appearance and finding me wearing a “Super Woman” cape? Not at all!  I hope they see the appearance of a girl that loves God with all of her heart, soul, mind, and strength.  That adores her family.  Strives to teach others about the love of Christ. Is real with many flaws.  And daily tries to lay her weaknesses down at the foot of the cross.  Life is so much easier when God is in control.
I want to challenge you to list your involvements. Ask yourself, “why am I doing this?” (glory for you or God), pray about everything, and seek discernment.  God will show you the way if you just seek and ask Him.

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