God’s timing is always perfect. Friday morning I typed a journal entry titled “Give Me Five” . Instead of choosing one of my normal pictures, God put the idea in my head to write the five points on my hand, in permanent marker, and to take a picture of to use. Little did I know that I would use the writings on my hand to share with my students throughout the entire day. God allowed me to share His gospel, in the public school system, in a “non-scriptural, yet totally biblical” way.
Every Friday morning a club that I’m involved in at school, Tigers for Christ, meet prior to the bell ringing to start our school day. Evidently there were others who should have been in that club meeting as well. Why? Because an incident happened on the patio (a place where all the sixth grade students meet prior to school) that caused a great commotion. It appears that there were a number of students who should have been in the Tigers for Christ meeting to get some Jesus in them.
I had not seen my fellow co-workers, who were monitoring the patio that morning, so upset over a bullying situation. Yes, bullying!
It wasn’t just a one-on-one type of incident; there were a number of students who chimed in and began laughing and making fun of a little boy.
The event on our campus took place the same week that a twelve year old girl committed suicide because of being bullied. The girl lived in the county adjacent to us. Many students had seen or heard about the girl via the news. (News story from a Fox news writer)
One of my teacher friends who was out on the patio wanted me, along with a couple of other teachers, to speak to each of our class periods about bullying, the effects of it, and how it is just plain ole wrong and that we won’t tolerate it.
Count me in!
So with the latest news story to tie in for effect, and the writings on my hand, I was ready to tackle this topic with my students.
For sixth periods, I was able to have the students’ undivided attention while we discussed bullying. My talking points were:
- We are all unique individuals. We were all made differently. I told the kids that if everyone was like me, we would drive each other crazy. (They laughed.) People may dress, walk, talk, look, or act differently from us. We are all here for a purpose in life, and it is up to us to make a positive difference.
- Many students come to school each day with baggage from home. We don’t know if someone is like a former student I had years ago who lived with his mother, the mom worked at a bar until four in the morning and was often asleep when the boy woke for school. This boy was on medication for ADD, had an older brother who bullied him physically and mentally, and a two year old sibling who my student had to care for all hours of the day and night. When this boy came to school, he was often tired, or forgot to take his medication. Is any of this his fault? No.
- The baggage that students may bring with them to school is often “masked” by their actions. Some try to fill the desire for power by picking on others. Some may crave to be the center of attention because they either don’t get attention at home, or that’s just what they are always used to being, so they are loud, or do silly things to draw attention to them. Others may retreat into a book, grateful for a slice of quietness amidst a group of people, because they hear screaming all the time at home. The point is…we do not know why people act the way they do or why they may look a certain way. (See The Green Bean Theory)
- Someone may smell because their parents are going through a difficult time and they don’t have soap to bathe with or clothes detergent to wash their clothes with. They may wear the same clothes day after day because they can’t afford other clothes, or are too proud to use or just don’t know of a charitable service to assist them. Is that a reason for us to make fun of them? No!
- I brought up the latest news story about the twelve year old her took her life. The effects that it will now have on her family and the lasting affect it will have on those individuals who were the perpetrators. One of my students asked, “How are those kids going to deal with what they’ve done?” I wanted to give a sermon, but my hands were tied. So as I pondered on what to say, without (sadly) bringing God into my conversation, I mentioned, “What I want to say to you right now, I’m not allowed, so let me think. Maybe some of you could help answer. (I knew I had a few Christian kids in the class) They caught on to what I was wanting to say and quickly raised they hands and students were saying things like, “They need to get their lives right.” Another student mentioned counseling. Amen to that.
- Then, life application from 1 Corinthians 16:13-14was brought into the conversation. I mentioned how we need to:
- “Be careful” with the words we say, the actions we do, and even the expressions on our faces. (That last one is one I definitely have to work on daily. My face often tells all.)
- “Stand firm” in our beliefs and for what is right. All agreed that we don’t want to be bullied. So just don’t do it. We need to treat others the way we want to be treated. Little did the kids know that we were talking about Luke 6:31, they just knew it as the Golden Rule.
- “Be courageous” and be like David to Goliath. Go help a brother out when you see someone picking on them, or tell an adult. I’ll never forget one time when a shorter boy went up to a much taller fellow student, looked up at him, pointed his finger, and said, “Leave that kid alone. Go pick on someone your on size.” The tall boy, who was bullying another student, did exactly that. He left hat boy along all because of the bravery of another student. It only takes one.
- “Be strong” when others around you are making fun of, or talking about someone else. Whether it is gossiping or the action of bullying someone, you don’t have to join in with the rest of the crowd. Stand strong. Tell your friend that they are wrong. I’ve been on both sides of the coin. I have laughed when someone was making fun of someone, and I have been the one who was being made fun of, and my “friend” was standing next to the one making fun of me laughing right along with them. Guilt occurred in the first scenario, and a “stab in the back” happened with the other scene. Both feelings were sad.
- “Love!!” We need to love all. Yes, even our enemies. I told the students that I may not like everything one of my children are doing, or even like them at that moment, but I will always love them with all my heart. (The kids got a kick out of that.) The old saying applied, “Hate the sin, but love the sinner.”
- We even talked about what we should do when we do offend someone…we need to say the two hardest words for us all to say…”I’m sorry”.
The students were all attentive throughout our talk. I was grateful to have such a captive audience for such an important topic.
After our discussion the students took a math quiz. During the quiz in first period, my heart enlarged when I had a student come up to me with tears in her eyes. She said, “I need to talk to you.” I thought she didn’t understand her math and asked her what was wrong. She said, “Mrs. Shuff, what you said really affected me. Your words touch me and I feel bad. I said something about someone the other day and I feel horrible.” We briefly chatted about those two hardest words to say and she quickly said, “I want to say that.” The girl said that the student she had talked about was in our class. I told her that she could go outside with them to talk if she needed to. I guess that wasn’t soon enough. She walked over to the other student, whispered in their ear, and asked for forgiveness. You could see the weight being lifted off of her. My eyes filled with tears.
It just takes one!
Conversations occurred throughout the day, and knew that life lessons were being taught and understood. (Thank you, Jesus.)
I have a feeling that “Give me five” will have a meaning of a different kind in my class from now on. I am grateful that God has given me the opportunity and the ability to be a teacher, and to make a difference in the lives of others.
Parents, teachers, administrators, and kids, please keep the lines of communication open, especially when it comes to bullying. Let’s make a positive difference in the lives of others and ourselves.
It just takes one.
Blessings to y’all!
