Over the past few years I have developed a fear. My husband says it is all in my head. But I tell him that the anxiety that rushes over me is totally real and not in my head. I wish I didn’t have to take deep calming breaths, feel nervous and almost dizzy, and want to just pull over and regurgitate. There are those times when it is better and I believe that I’ve conquered the level of anxiety that I feel, and then there are still times that I must slow down, focus, and pray, pray, pray.
Okay, you may say this is all in my head too. Here is when my body tenses up and apprehension consumes me: when I am going over an overpass, especially when I can see over the wall, at a slant tilt, but here’s the kicker…only going left when I am driving on the interstate. It doesn’t occur when I turn right or when I am a passenger. Crazy? Some say so, (Recently I had a friend tell me she gets the same way, whew, I’m not alone.) but my body says different.
I can recall the very first time that it happened. Tim and I were heading to downtown St. Pete, FL with our friends Dave and Theresa. I was driving. All was well, the music was playing, conversation was great, and then all of a sudden…oh me oh my! I got off on the exit that was high above the others and I wasn’t singing “Jesus take the wheel” but I told Theresa that she needed to drive. My body had a rush of heat go through it and I thought I was going to pass out. There was nowhere to safely pull over on the overpass, so I drove like a granny, took deep breaths, and pulled over as soon as I was on the straight-a-way.
God’s word reminded me this morning of this crazy anxiousness that I have. It says in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” I know! I know! I often quote this scripture when I feel this rush come over me. I do have moments when I pray peacefully, sing a song, try not to think about it, and I have been successful. But for the majority of the time, this chic has to slow it down and focus on the line in the middle of the road. (Oh!!! That sounds like a great devotion there in itself. Think about it.)
Also in this morning’s quiet time I read Psalm 119:76-77b, “Now comfort me with your faithful love, as you promised. Comfort me and let me live.” This verse just may be need to add to my left-turn, overpass, low wall, interstate driving fear. Here’s my paraphrase, “Comfort me NOW, God, with your faithful love. You promised it! I want to live!”
So who’s afraid to ride with me now? Haha. Just either make sure that we don’t have to go in the direction of my anxiety, or pray me up. I sure hope you’ll pray me up.
Do you have crazy anxieties? I’d love to hear about them. I have some verses for you (and me).
- 2 Thessalonians 3:16, “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.”
- Psalm 55:22, “Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.”
- Proverbs 12:25, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”
- Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
- And soooo many more.
Blessings and God’s abundant love to y’all.
