Disclaimer:  I would encourage adults to read this before you decide to share it with a younger audience.
Here we go…First of all, I am not here to pass judgment onto anyone.  God clearly tells us not to do that throughout the bible. I want to share with you some things that I’ve discovered this past week.
Last week I felt God put on my heart to share about the upcoming movie “Fifty Shades of Grey”.  Now, this is a book that I did not read, so I knew that I needed to educate myself about it and share what I’ve learned, instead of just throwing my opinion out there.  After hearing so many facts and opinions about the book and movie, I’m grateful that (as Beth Moore says) “I learned this in the classroom instead of taking the fieldtrip myself.”
“The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.” 1 Timothy 1:5 NLT
When I visited the author of Fifty Shades of Grey, EL James’s website, the first sign tells me that I better be careful.  Why?  It warns you that you should be seventeen years or older to enter the site. Really?!   Here is a description taken from the site regarding the books:  “Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.”  I for one do not want to obsess over anything that is not godly, be or feel possessed (that’s just not right), and allow evilness to stay with me forever.  I am grateful that I serve a living and loving God that can rid me of any possessions and forgive me of my sins.
This book/movie is a hyped up book that focuses on SMBD.  Here is what those initials mean and synonyms to correspond with each word:

• Sadism: the tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others. (violent behavior, bloodshed, cruelty, aggression)
• Masochism: the tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from one’s own pain or humiliation.
• Bondage: sexual practice that involves the tying up or restraining of one partner. (repression, oppression, burden)
• Discipline: the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience. (control, restraint, authority)

This does not sound like the type of sex life for me and my husband.  I don’t like pain. I enjoy pleasure.  And this definitely does not sound like the type of book that any unmarried folks need to submit their eyes and thoughts to. (Just my opinion.)
Earlier in the week I posted two questions on Facebook and received approximately a hundred responses.  I asked many what they would say to younger adults and teens about seeing the movie.  Please read their responses and of course I may say a little diddy after them:

50 Shades of Grey Question:  OK, Please private message me and give me your thoughts and input:  (1) If you read the book, what did you think about it and are you going to see the movie?  (2)  If you did not read the book, why not and are you going to see it and why?

Quotes from some of those surveyed (and a quick response from me):
“I did read the book. The s/m got kind of boring. (I had to laugh hear at how this sounds!) It wound up a good love story although I thought his turnaround at the end was kind of unbelievable. I thought that somebody with such serious sexual issues could not or would not change for good. Can’t decide about the movie. It can’t be as graphic as the book or it would be rated x.” (I have heard that from several people about how it would be rated X.  Nowadays, they sure put more out there on the screen that my little eyes need to see. I hope you make the right decision for you as to whether or not you see the movie.)
“Basically it was a typical love story between an average girl and this powerful handsome man. The guy had horrible childhood which caused him to do the sexual things he did. He used it as a way to get back at what happened in his childhood in a way” (Ouch!  I don’t believe that S&M is a “typical love story”.  Yes, I can see the attraction between the “average girl and the powerful handsome man”, but this story isn’t anything basic.  It is abnormal.)
“It’s not a true picture of love and marriage. The story involves two people not married and based on a contract (not a marriage contract).”  (Colossians 3:18-19, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. ¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.”)
“I read all of the books (& really enjoyed them. I actually own all of them) and did plan on seeing the movie when it 1st came out that there was going to be one. However, I am now choosing to NOT go see the movie or read the books again. I just feel that I shouldn’t and my views on it have mostly changed. I also feel that the devil is working through these books and movie(s) right now and I shouldn’t/don’t want to give it or him my support or money. I can see what the controversy is about but I’m also glad I was able to base my own feelings and opinion about it, having read it. When reading it it can very much and easily consumes you. I now wouldn’t suggest someone to read it unless it was for research sake; and would suggest for them to be in the word constantly, and be very aware.” (I needn’t say more.)
“Some of my friends want to see it so I might go with them on Valentine’s Day, although it’s not something I’m dying to see.” (Then PLEASE DON’T go waste your money and see it.)
“I had heard a little about it and didn’t really want it in my house around a teenage girl.” (Wise decision.  Thank you for not only thinking about your own mind, but remember that old saying, ‘Practice what you preach’…and thinking of others. Matthew 5:16, “In the same way, you should be a light for other people. Live so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven.”)
“I would not suggest that you read it because I do not think that it would be something that you would particularly enjoy reading.” (That is good advice.  Thank you.  And…I would add that if you don’t think that it is good for me, then please take your own advice and don’t go see the movie yourself. “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.” Matthew 5:15.)
“Started reading the book. Hated it. Could not finish. Actually had hard copy and discarded. Will not go to movie. Hopefully most marriages are too strong to let book or movie ruin them.”  (I pray that those married couples who do choose to see it will learn that that is not the submissive behavior God talks about in the bible.  In Hebrews 13:4 we are instructed to, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
“Degrading to women. Disrespecting women. Devaluing women. Just didn’t find it enjoyable reading.” (Disrespect and Devaluing are two things I detest.  Have you heard of the saying ‘Garbage in, garbage out’?  Hey, I’ve written a short journal entry before with that title.  Please click here for a quick read.
“I did read the book. The s/m got kind of boring. (I had to laugh hear at how this sounds!) It wound up a good love story although I thought his turnaround at the end was kind of unbelievable. I thought that somebody with such serious sexual issues could not or would not change for good. Can’t decide about the movie. It can’t be as graphic as the book or it would be rated x.” (I have heard that from several people about how it would be rated X.  Nowadays, they sure put more out there on the screen that my little eyes need to see. I hope you make the right decision for you as to whether or not you see the movie.)
“Basically it was a typical love story between an average girl and this powerful handsome man. The guy had horrible childhood which caused him to do the sexual things he did. He used it as a way to get back at what happened in his childhood in a way” (Ouch!  I don’t believe that S&M is a “typical love story”.  Yes, I can see the attraction between the “average girl and the powerful handsome man”, but this story isn’t anything basic.  It is abnormal.)
“It’s not a true picture of love and marriage. The story involves two people not married and based on a contract (not a marriage contract).”  (Colossians 3:18-19, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. ¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.”)
“I read all of the books (& really enjoyed them. I actually own all of them) and did plan on seeing the movie when it 1st came out that there was going to be one. However, I am now choosing to NOT go see the movie or read the books again. I just feel that I shouldn’t and my views on it have mostly changed. I also feel that the devil is working through these books and movie(s) right now and I shouldn’t/don’t want to give it or him my support or money. I can see what the controversy is about but I’m also glad I was able to base my own feelings and opinion about it, having read it. When reading it it can very much and easily consumes you. I now wouldn’t suggest someone to read it unless it was for research sake; and would suggest for them to be in the word constantly, and be very aware.” (I needn’t say more.)
“I downloaded the sample on my Kindle to see what all the fuss was about and stopped within 5 pages. The writing itself (sentence structure, word choice for descriptions) were weak. The published romance authors I know personally hated it. …And I’ll admit I’m curious. The movie may be better than the book. But I will wait until it comes to Pay per View and watch it then.” (I’m with you on the curiosity.  I’m hoping that just like many shows that I DVR on television that my “first curiosity” will get pushed to the wayside, and once I have time to sit down and watch it my interest will be gone. Then, I realize that life goes on just fine without me seeing what I had recorded.  Delete recorded show and move on.)
“I had a friend who recommended 50 shades and I got it before I knew what it was. I didn’t get far before I stopped reading it. I’ve read other books that had some “racy” parts that didn’t really bother me but this one did. So, no, I have no desire to see it.” (That’s what we often discover in life.  Sins are usually attractive and enticing, but when we actually start to dabble in it, we discover that it’s not what we really need in our lives.  I’m glad you had the self discipline to put it down and walk away.)
“If you are an avid reader, you’d barely be able to get through the first book, like I did. It is really poorly written and had too many grammatical errors to count! I held off reading it for a long time because I usually tend to not enjoy “hype books” but I finally gave it a try to see what all the fuss was about. Needless to say, I stopped after the first and have no interest in finishing out the series. Not to mention all that S&M business doesn’t really do it for me… I don’t like pain! All I could think about was how much all of that stuff would hurt! Haha. If I do end up watching the movie, it definitely won’t be in a theater filled with dozens of other women, it will be at home with my husband, or with a glass of wine…Or both. I don’t feel like reading that book or seeing the movie would personally encourage me to have adulterous thoughts. If anything, it made me more thankful for the healthy and functional relationship I have! But that’s just me.” (Amen.)
“I read all 3 books of 50 shades. I think everything in context. I think if you get to the third book & understand that he came out of his darkness’ & turned his life around. There is a message in there. Understanding that everyone sins and that sin does not have a degree of severity. Sin is sin. No desire to see the movie, maybe because I am more of a bookworm than movies.” (I’m glad that you were able to read between the lines.  I am one who often has to read to submerge myself in a book to better retain and understand it.  It’s a good thing that I didn’t read it. Haha.  Yes, sin is a sin, and for me to put those words and visions in my head would be a sin for me.)
“I did not read it and do not intend to see the movie. Just didn’t feel right about it.” (Good idea.  Listening to your gut and heart will keep you out of a lot of trouble.)
“I don’t want to spoil what I have by introducing that into my thoughts…Know what I mean? (I totally know what you mean!  My mind doesn’t need to go there.  Now, spicing thing up with my man is all good, but pain…no thanks!)
“So I am one who has read the trilogy of Fifty Shades. Yes, I do plan on seeing all 3 movies…actually will be seeing them with my mom, who also read all 3 books. I think I saw the love story it presents over the “explicit sex scenes.”” (I’ll be interested in hearing your thoughts after you saw the movie. I’m glad it’s you and not me, especially with mom! LOL!)
As a parent of three teens, ranging from the ages thirteen to just shy of nineteen, I definitely had my own opinion of the book and movie, but I wanted to hear from those who have read the book.  So…When asked if teens and young adults should see this, a few of the responses were the following:
“Definitely not. It is abnormal sex presented in a romantic way. It also promotes male domination even though the girl seems to win in the end but I still think a man who is that sexually deviant is sick. Young people are normally preoccupied with sex. To be exposed to such sexual practices, boys and girls, I think would not be good in developing sexual behavior appropriate to their age. Another thing is that the guy is rich, cool, good looking…all the things that young people think are important.”
“To the girls I would say that you must set your standards high and guard your heart. The reality is most fellas want to get in your pants so know where you stand. Also, the scare factor of pregnancy and STDs needs to be on the table- that’s reality. Guys like to talk so they should be prepared for whatever they do to be public knowledge. I would imagine the movie should be off limits to high schoolers (that have any parental guidance). To college girls- it’s not reality, be careful little eyes what you see!”
 “I think it is not suitable for underage girls or boys, but then again it is more suitable than much of what they have in many games and or violence/oriented movies. Sensuality and dominance and submission all merit adult guidance and discussion beyond an unsupervised movie or book experience.”
 “I really wouldn’t suggest for a younger female or male to read it; it’s definitely not for younger eyes or minds. To the question of it affecting ones relationship/marriage: I believe it very well, blindly, can; Christian relationship/marriage or not. Just like another erotica book can. The woman &/or man can start searching for something they don’t think they are finding is their spouse. Also I feel that reading those types of books can cause someone to want to “spice things up” and it may cause it to back fire if not approached appropriately in the marriage. The book portrays something where the guy is completely controlling. It takes it to a whole different level of submission. It’s not in a loving, Christian way. However, I feel that if one is aware of this and reading the books for let’s say research sake I feel the affect can be less. The difference with 50 shades of grey is people are making it popular but in reality it’s really no different than the other ones out there. Also, if you have not heard of the book ‘pulling back the shades’ you should look into it and read it (I’ve just started but seems good/insightful) It’s written by 2 authors, one who did read the books and one who did not; they have some great views both looking at it differently & from a Christian perspective. I really think you’d enjoy it. Just a side note: in my personal opinion, I think in theater wise the movie can’t be too explicit because of it being in theaters. I think it can only be just as bad as some of the other ‘R’ rated movies out there. However that opinion could always be wrong…there’s no telling these days…”
 “Teenager girls, definitely should NOT see the movie. The submissiveness can be pretty harsh for a young woman.  He does give her a safe word that if it gets to be too much she is to say it and he will stop…she does use the safe word once and he does stop. … I don’t think I would have ever shown interest in the book if I was unmarried…I would have probably felt ashamed. I do think being in a strong marriage (My husband knew I was reading the books) is a good thing and being honest about what is in the book.” (Praise God for strong marriages.  Just please be careful and stay strong in the Lord.)
“I did not read the book nor am I planning to see the movie. I was involved in a brief conversation once with a two people who had discussed the book and it did not seem like anything I really cared about. I think sex/love is a very personal thing and I’m truly not interested in others sex lives / routines lol.”
“I did read it. I ignored the sex parts to be honest. The sad reality is that is how some people live, which is terrible. I feel sorry for them. The backstory was interesting about the male character and how the female character helps him to overcome his demons. I do not think I will watch the film.”
My friend is a family therapist. He said it is one of the worst books for people to read because they begin the internalize that that is how a relationship is suppose to be. To me it was just a book. No more, no less. The therapist shared that he had many cases come into his office because couples struggled after one or the other read the book. To me that is mind blowing….I have heard people critiqued others for reading it. I have been critiqued for reading it. To me that is judgment. My character has not changed since reading the book.” (That breaks my heart about the struggling marriages.  Prayers for all.)
“I did not read the book and I have no desire to see the movie. The movie Old Fashion is more appealing to me.” (Thank you. Thank you, for sharing this other movie option with us!)
Okay, I have viewed the trailer, read articles and endorsements, and I am sharing this website with you.  I want to encourage you all to share this with others.  I want to encourage you to GO and see this instead of Fifty Shades if you are going out to the movies.  I hope that you will even take your family to see it.  I am planning on taking my whole crew with me.  I would rather my children see a real “love story” where a man knows how to treat a lady with respect and honor.  Had the main character lived out his life earlier and made mistakes?  It sure sounds like it to me, but we don’t have to view all his mistakes.  What we do get to see is how his life has changed for the better…for God.

Click here to view the trailer and read about Old Fashioned.  

Here is a synopsis of the movie taken from the website:

A romantic-drama, OLD FASHIONED centers on Clay Walsh, a former frat boy who gives up his reckless carousing and now runs an antique shop in a small Midwestern college town. There, he has become notorious for his lofty and outdated theories on love and romance as well as for his devout belief in God. When Amber Hewson, a free-spirited young woman with a restless soul, drifts into the area and rents the apartment above his shop, she finds herself surprisingly drawn to his strong faith and noble ideas, which are new and intriguing to her. And Clay, though he tries to fight and deny it, simply cannot resist being attracted to her spontaneous and passionate embrace of life. Ultimately, Clay must step out from behind his relational theories and Amber must overcome her own fears and deep wounds as the two of them, together, attempt the impossible: an “old-fashioned” and God-honoring courtship in contemporary America.
I journaled about his movie just yesterday:  An “Old Fashioned” Love
A precious friend of mine has sent me articles and blogs from others regarding the movie, Fifty Shades.  The authors are men and women.  I thought I’d share them with you as well:
“5 Things ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Teaches About Sex”
http://www.chastity.com/blog/five-fat-lies-in-fifty-shades-of-grey
http://www.scissortailsilk.com/2015/02/10/christian-women-and-christian-grey/
I hope that you are a little more informed about the book and value the opinion of others. 
I know that I personally will not be sharing my money with Ms. EL James’.  I don’t believe that her writings bring glory to God, so I’ll be spending my money elsewhere.
I pray many blessings and much joy for you! Have a wonderful day. – Stephanie

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