Throughout the next couple of weeks, I’ll be sharing real stories from real people who have a real message they want to share with you. Names have either been omitted or changed to protect their privacy.
I pray that these testimonies will touch your heart.
I thank each and every one of you who have shared your hearts. I love and appreciate you and your honesty, and am so grateful for the transparency that each of you presented.
Today’s testimony comes from a young lady who is still in college.
“Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12
My whole life my ultimate goal was to stay a virgin until my wedding night. Girls who I went to high school with would constantly ask me why I was waiting, and guys would pressure me to give in to the temptation. I knew that staying pure was something that was rare, but I was willing to wait for my husband and I whole heartedly wanted to honor God.
My freshman year in college I was told would be the best year of your life. I would make new friends, have fun, and it was a time to grow up.
The “college life” got the best of me and I started falling away from the church and from God. I started partying and tried so hard to be accepted by the cool, older college kids. I was trying to find my identity in that.
I lost my virginity during that time and it was while I was under the influence of alcohol. The night it happened after I sobered up, I realized what I had done and I felt completely AWFUL.
Something that I had waited for my entire life was gone in a split second.
In that moment I thought that I would never get forgiveness from God.
I went through a really rough 6 months after that. I fell deeper into the sin. I thought, “Well I’ve already done it now so there is no going back”, and I was delighting in the guilty pleasures. Fortunately I’ve only slept with one guy (he was my boyfriend at the time), but every time we had sex I had been drinking. Deep down I knew it was still wrong but I continued to do it, and when I drank I didn’t have the remorse until afterwards. The worst part about it was I didn’t love him. When I had sex with him the first time we were only dating 3 weeks. Then I felt like we had to keep dating because I had sex with him and I couldn’t get out of it. Eventually I hit rock bottom and I realized that God was trying to reveal Himself to me the whole time.
I realized that what I was taught as a child was true. God is a FORGIVING God and He LOVES me no matter what I did. He just wants me to strive to live a life that brings glory to His name.
In that moment I asked for forgiveness and from that day forward I have strived to stay pure. Although I have forgiveness from God, I still have that baggage and it will be with me for the rest of my life.
Looking back, I was filling a void in my life. I was yearning for acceptance from others and wanting to fit in. Actually, there was a guy who I was dating in high school who broke up with me because he said I was too good of a girl and he was a bad guy and he just couldn’t date me anymore because I didn’t want to have sex with him. I think that had a lot to do with the void that was missing because I wanted to just be accepted and wanted. Having a relationship was really important to me (ugh so dumb), but I think I was just tired of people judging me in a way because I was such a good kid. So that’s where I was weak and fell into the temptation.
Now, I desire to fill any voids with Jesus Christ. HE makes me whole again!
Dating has become harder for me because I am searching for a man after Gods own heart, and more times than not guys who love the Lord as much as I do are still virgins. For me it’s a struggle to find someone who will accept that baggage and want to be with someone who isn’t a virgin.
With that being said, I KNOW the Lord has someone amazing planned for me and I don’t let my past mistakes define who I am or let it shape my identity in God.
My advice to people who aren’t married and still virgins: WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. It will be worth it in the end. A quick moment of “pleasure” isn’t worth the lifetime of guilt, hurt, and shame. Your virginity is one of the best presents you can give your spouse. Resist the temptation and the Lord will reward you 10x over.
My advice for people who aren’t married and aren’t virgins: Let go and LET GOD. Give the hurt, shame, and guilt to the Lord and let him wrap you in His arms and hold you close. Strive to also resist the temptation from here on out. There is such thing as being pure and not being a virgin. You physically are not a virgin, yes, but SPIRITUALLY? YES 1000X YES. Once you have asked for forgiveness, you have been made new in HIS eyes. You are a virgin in HIS eyes. Sure, this might not clear your memory of the past things you have done, but it does clear your future up with the one who truly matters, and that is GOD. He will bless you for putting your faith in Him and allowing him to take control of the situation.
