Dear Younger Me,
Temptation is strong, present, and real. You will be tempted many times in your life to give into having ANY form of sexual relations with someone. Being tempted isn’t a sin. When you give in to that temptation…THAT is sin.
You will go away to college and meet a gentleman that is older than you. You won’t meet him in college, because he is about seven years older than you are. You will end up meeting him through mutual friends in church. You actually date this mutual friend’s brother before finding your “Mr. Right”.
While you are away living in a large university town, you discover that your classmates are quite promiscuous. They gossip about their relations, the number of guys the sleep with, and the partying that they regularly partake in. They even make fun of you, while still remaining your friends, for being a virgin.
When your “older boyfriend” comes to stay with you for weekend dates, they just can’t believe that you two do NOT sleep together. They just can’t grasp how two people can be in a relationship and not have physical intimacy.
Oh me, but you do have intimacy! Synonyms for the word intimacy are: passion, closeness, understanding, caring, and fidelity.
Passion. You can’t keep your hands off each other, but you know your boundaries. There is passion! Sometimes you’ll have to go for a walk, a long walk, together to make sure you are out of a temptatious surrounding. But you stay strong and respect the boundaries that you’ve set for each other. Boundaries that are “God-approved”.
Closeness. Closeness isn’t just meaning physical space. It describes your relationship with God and each other. Closeness means the level of communication you have with one another.
Understanding. Understanding that those weekend dates when he will come to visit can be tempting, but a greater understanding that God has a plan, and that having sex before marriage is NOT part of His plan. The fear of God was instilled in both of you, and you both desire to please God and not man.
Caring. This boyfriend is a godly man. He is so compassionate about you, but he is more caring about his relationship with God. That’s what you want! You want a mate to love Jesus more than they love you. That may be difficult to comprehend, but trust me…you want it because they want what God wants.
Fidelity. Did you know that intimacy and fidelity are synonyms? Well, they are. It means being faithful to your spouse. You and your man are not married until college is over. You must remain loyal to each other until you two become one in marriage.
Fast forward a couple of years from when your college classmates make fun of you and listen to the comments they now say:
“Jill, I know I always laughed at and didn’t believe you at first about how you and your boyfriend did not have sex with each other, but the truth is, I so wish I had that kind of life. I admire you.
“Jill, you are the one who will have the “white-picket-fence” type of marriage. You remained a virgin through years of dating. That’s the kind of relationship I wish I had.”
“Jill, be glad you didn’t sleep with your man. You are so strong and good. I was weak and bad. I’m sorry I made fun of you.”
To God be ALL the glory! Your actions (or lack of in their case) spoke a volume of a testimony.
So…younger-self, remain pure. Stay true to God. Others will gossip and laugh at you, but in the end, they will glorify you. When they do, give God all the glory! That is a testimony that speaks loud and strong.
Sincerely,
Yourself about twenty-five years later happily married to “Mr. Right”
