Forgiveness.  This is a topic I’ve journaled about often. (Click on this link to read other journal entries:  https://soakinguptheson.com/new/?s=Forgiveness.) I feel strongly about this topic.  Maybe it’s because I’ve experienced the freedom forgiving someone gives me, or when I was the one who needed forgiving. Or it is because God tells us that we must forgive if we want to be forgiven. Who am I “maybe-ing” and “or-ing”…it IS for all of the above reasons.
This past week I had a wonderful conversation with a lady I met while feeding those in need, in our city.  Anne is new to our town. She willingly, and with great transparency, shared her story with me. Anne shared about how she was in the corporate world for twelve years, and supervised over 300 employees.  Her story about when she was shot in the head (I saw the effects from it), and ended up in the hospital for over three months then lost her job was heart wrenching. After her almost fatal incident, she gained nearly 250 pounds. She talked about how she doesn’t smoke, drink, or do drugs (as she tapped her teeth and said, “These are my own.”)
Anne spoke with sincerity and confidence.  I asked her where she gets her strength to strive to overcome the obstacles she has in her life, she with clarity and a smile said, “I am a Christian, and I know Jesus.”
Then…when Anne shared about her children, you could see the hurt, bitterness, and unforgiveness well up within her as she specifically mentioned her daughter. God gave me the boldness to simply tell Anne that she had to forgive.
We spoke about the relationship between her and her daughter.  As I listened to Anne and could sense her heartache, and her stubbornness, stories from my own past would come to mind. The difference was…my stories included FREEDOM. Freedom because of my willingness, and necessity to forgive and be forgiven.
Scripture came to my mind to share with her. When I asked Anne, “Are there things in your life you want to be forgiven for?” She bowed her head and replied, “Yes.”
So I exclaimed, “Then you must forgive.”  God tells us in Matthew 6:14-15 “Yes, if you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, then your Father in heaven will also forgive your wrongs.  But if you don’t forgive others, then your Father in heaven will not forgive the wrongs you do.”
She said, “But it’s hard.”
“Yes it is, but you will feel freedom.”
“If I said it now I wouldn’t mean it.”
“Then have a ‘fake it til you make it’ mentality, and start to believe it. Better yet…go to God and ask Him to help you forgive your daughter, and He will!”
“Okay, but…”
“No, buts.  Trust me. You have to and want to.”
“But…”
“Anne, when you don’t forgive someone you are giving them authority over you and Satan is loving every minute of it.”
“She doesn’t have authority over me.”
“Well, you’re allowing Satan too.  And, yes, it is hard to forgive someone who has wronged us so severely, it’s in our human nature to want to hold a grudge. When we forgive, we let go of the control and give it to God.”
“God is in control.”
“I agree.  Yes He is, but not when you still feel the way you do.  He doesn’t want you to feel this way. He is a God of love and FORGIVENESS. Anne, how does this unforgiveness make you feel inside?”
“Awful.  The bitterness eats away in me.”
“Yes! And do you want that feeling?”
“No.”
Our conversation continued, then I asked Anne if I could pray with her.  She said, “please do”.
We prayed together.  I say together because as I was praying, she was audibly agreeing with me.
Anne knows that she needs to forgive, and is having a hard time doing so.
Are you the same way?
I want to encourage you to ask God to search your heart. Search you for anything you need forgiving for, and anyone you need to forgive. Wait for it.  He will show you. And when He does…earnestly and honestly pray over that situation and lay it at the foot of the cross.
Hey, I’ve been there, done that, and continue to do so…forgive…it is freeing.
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.Psalm 139:23-24
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
I love and appreciate you.
Speak victory in others and yourself.
Forgive and be forgiven.
Love.
Blessings to you and yours,
Stephanie
 
I’m here for you.  I’d like to encourage you to find a pastor to talk to if you need help with this.  If you want to contact me, please do. I may not know all the answers, but I can help guide you in the right direction, and I’ll definitely pray for you. [email protected]
 

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