Quit talking about yourself, and get others talking about themselves

Early this morning, I was walking down the beach. When passing by someone, I would create a story in my mind about them. People of all ages. One older gentleman was gingerly walking with walking sticks. A couple of fit young girls were jogging passing by me. (I’m definitely not a jogger.) A group of three ladies, who appeared to be in their 70s, were chatting as they were walking. Almost everyone who walked by me smiled and said “Good morning”. What’s their story?

As I was creating their life stories in my mind, I almost wanted to stop and chat it up with some to truly discover their narrative. My husband is probably surprised that I didn’t strike up a conversation with someone.

Not only was my mind racing with stories of others, but thinking about a recent conversation with a person whose conversation was solely about complaining about the situations in their life.

How can you not be so self-absorbed in conversations with others? Make a conscious decision to not talk about self, but to sincerely ask someone about their day, work, opinion, dreams, etc..

This led me to ponder on the benefits of not talking about one’s self.

Don’t be interested only in your own life, but care about the lives of others too. Philippians 2:4 ERV

Help each other with your troubles. When you do this, you are obeying the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 ERV

Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith. Galatians 6:10 NLT

I’m no therapist, but personally speaking, when I intentionally engage in someone’s life instead of my own, I:

  • Gain a new perspective on them and sometimes myself
  • Am grateful to spend time lending an ear to them
  • Have a new request to lift up to the Lord
  • Feel needed
  • Discover that when I intend on being a blessing, I am the one blessed by them
  • Feel God’s presence and graciousness
  • Appreciate how the relationship grows

There are many more benefits one can add to this list when it comes to taking the time to be less self-absorbed, yet focusing on others. Notice that although you were the one giving to someone, you truly gained so much more.

I want to challenge you to ask someone:

  • How is your day going?
  • How can I help you today?
  • How can I pray for you today?
  • How did that (whatever that is) make you feel?
  • What did you learn from your experience?

So…what’s your story? How can I pray for you today? Contact me. I’d love to pray for you and hear about you.

Blessings to you and yours,


(Featured photo: When I walked out, onto the beach, to begin my morning walk, the moon was in front of me shining bright.)