Tim and I participated this year in Plant City Rotary Club’s Dancing with The Locals. The Rotary raises hundreds of thousands of dollars to give back and support our community. What a great cause and an experience!
After we danced, we were each asked a question. My question was, “Stephanie, you’ve been with Tim since high school! If you could go back and tell your teenage self that one day you’d be dancing on stage with your high school sweetheart, what do you think she would say?”
My response was, “If I could go back 41 years and tell young Stephanie that she and Tim would still be dancing together today, she’d say, ‘Heck yeah! I knew it!’ But if I told her they’d be dancing on stage in front of hundreds, she’d have laughed! I’m so proud of Tim Shuff! I’m usually the one who nudges him out of his comfort zone, but this time, it was his idea. He was dedicated to learning the new moves—and, as he put it, ‘not to suck.’ Our bodies definitely don’t move like they used to, and we are not the most skilled dancers here tonight, but we had an absolute blast with this experience!” (or at least this is what I had planned to say. I think I was close to it. Yes, we knew the question ahead of time.)
I thought about how this experience was an example of our marriage. There was encouragement, times of frustration, dedication, desire not-to-suck at it yet to get it right, holding one another close, practice, practice, and more practice.
Photo by Deanna Hurley Photography
Married folks or one-day-will-bes, be encouraging to one another. Marriage is not a 50-50 contract. There will be days you may feel like you are giving it 10% or days you are clocking in at 80%. Just how life is like a rollercoaster, so is marriage. Yet, during those times when you or your spouse isn’t feeling like you are giving it your all or you may be heavily loving the other in a difficult time, be encouraging.
and let’s consider how to encourage one another in love and good deeds, Hebrews 10:24
Yes, there will be times of frustration throughout your relationship–welcome to life. Those pet-peeves can raise their ugly heads, but take a breath, talk it out, and embrace one another’s differences.
Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32
When you got married, you said your vows to one another. Those vows were/are an oath, a promise, a statement of honor. You made a commitment to stand by one another through the ups and downs in life. I have seen marriages crumble at the littlest of things, and others grow stronger through challenging experiences. First of all, I pray that you are in a relationship of honor and not abuse. If abuse is the case, please seek help and guidance. Let me encourage you to continually pray for your spouse, one another, and the steps God wants you to take in your relationship.
Tim and I are blessed. We are dedicated to one another. I believe that one of the strongest factors–if not the main– in staying true to one another is both of our devotion to Jesus Christ. Jesus is the Lord of not just each of our lives, but in our marriage as well.
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Song of Solomon 8:6
Desire not-to-suck at marriage, yet to get it right. Now, come one, you didn’t enter this committed relationship with an intent to fail. I’m sure you visioned a life of forever love with your spouse. Well, remember that. I know that when Tim and I were dating, I had a vision of the two of us one day rocking in rocking chairs, on a porch, with grey hair. Let’s keep rockin’, Baby. (In chairs and our dance moves.)
Have the craving within you to get it right. It takes commitment, umph, and selflessness.
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor; 10 for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
When Tim and I danced, our performance consisted of three different dance styles. The first one was the rumba. During this routine we had to hold each other close. There is just something about holding someone close to you. Since the beginning of our dating relationship (over 41 years ago!), a feeling that I’ve always felt with Tim was secure. When he has his arms around me, a perception of strength and comfort surrounds me. This is just how it should be–is–with Jesus. Stay close to God and He will stay close to you (James 4:8).
There will be times when you need your spouse’s physical touch due to your surroundings, an emotional time, to simply snuggle, and definitely sexually. Hold one another tight.
Oh, that reminds me of several videos I’ve seen and articles I read about holding one another for more than like 10-20 seconds. It releases oxytocin, which is considered the “love hormone”. There are many benefits to holding someone close. So get snuggling.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Finally–well, specifically for this entry–marriage takes practice. Tim and I had ten dance lessons with our instructor. But that’s not the only practice time we got in.
One of the songs we danced to was Thriller by Michael Jackson (but I’m sure I didn’t have to tell you the artist–duh). We began watching YouTube videos and learning the routine back in April. Once we met with our dance instructor, Amanda Drawdy with Drawdy’s Dance Studio (and I taught her when she was in the 5th grade), we were ready-to-go on that dance. Once we learned the rest of the routines, Tim and I would practice every chance we got. We practiced so we–going back to a previous mention–like Tim says, “wouldn’t suck”.
I think about how our children are now the ages of 30, 28, and 24. With each stage in their lives, just as they are navigating learning life, we were navigating how to parent. The same applies to marriage. No matter the age or stage, we are learning to and practicing being in step with one another. As God as our Instructor, we should do just fine.
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9
Well, I typed this journal entry prior to the dance competition. I am pleased to report that this fundraiser was a huge success! Tim and I ended up coming in second place for fundraising. We raised over $61k!!! What? That’s crazy! But, that’s not the only trophy we brought home. We WON the Judges’ Award!!! Yes! These two, the eldest out of nine couples in the DWTL event, entertained the audience and judges and earned FIRST PLACE! Tim and I received all 10s from the judges. The crowd went wild with a standing ovation! Y’all, like I mentioned in my answer, we are “Our bodies definitely don’t move like they used to, and we are not the most skilled dancers here tonight, but we had an absolute blast with this experience!” We truly did have a blast!
The excitement on our faces tell all. (Photo creds: FOCUS magazine)
Friend, may I encourage you to apply these practices to your walk with Christ too.
Encouragement, times of frustration, dedication, desire not-to-suck at it yet to get it right, holding one another close, practice, practice, and more practice.
Yes, there will be times of frustration, we aren’t promised a perfect life, just to know and walk with The Perfect One. Be dedicated to Him. In a world where we have so many commitments and priorities, make Jesus Christ first place in your life. Desire to want to know Him more and stay close to Him. Feel God’s arms holding you up daily as you get in His word and grow closer to Him. The more you practice being more like Him, the more confident you’ll become in life in various situations. I promise, a life with Christ does-not-suck.
Blessings to you and yours,
Stephanie
Sierra, Hunter, and Holly were there cheering us on. You would have thought Hunter won. haha. I think they were a little bit proud of mom and dad.
Featured photo credits: FOCUS magazine