When children are at a very early age, they talk about what they want to be in life. Now, it seems that students practically must declare their line of study for college while in middle school. I remember changing my major three times my first year of college, and my daughter has followed in the same pursuit. (She is pretty stoked about her current, and possibly/hopefully/whatever-God-wants final, decision.)
Here I am, one-month shy of turning forty-nine, and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.
I took a personal leave from teaching middle-school math this year. Since the decision was made I either hear people say:
- “Are you going back to teaching?”
- “What are you going to do with yourself?”
- “What do you do all day long?”
- “What’s your plan now?”
UGH!! I can say that I am in a season of “I. DON’T. KNOW.” right now.
Am I alone in this season? Have you been there, done that?
My response to the above questions are:
- “I’m taking it one year at a time, but probably not. I don’t know.”
- “I want this to be a year of creativity. I may decorate, paint, write,…. I don’t know.”
- “I manage our home, family, serve others, spend time with Jesus, feed the animals, pull weeds, watch reruns of The Gilmore Girls, I’m just busy. I don’t know.”
- Fourth response is much like the second.
My man (Tim) is my biggest cheerleader. Tim encourages me to write what God puts on my heart, and share my decorating techniques with others. We’ve discussed ideas at length, and I’ve even come up with a couple of names for a couple of businesses. He believes in me, and I’m pretty sure he’s ready for me to begin what we call “my fun account”. Between him and our youngest son, Cole, my “fun-account” is blown. I…just don’t know. (Thank you, Tim! I love you!!)
When we are in seasons like this (and always) God desires for us to seek Him.
This morning I was soaking Him up with a glass of sweet tea, the birds chirping and fluttering to and from the branches, a hint of fall in the air, and my bible wide open.
He led me to some verses regarding “my purpose”, and my heart would overflow with comfort, peace, and encouragement. Here, see for yourself:
But I have put you here for a reason. I have put you here so that I could show you My power. Then people all over the world will learn about Me!Exodus 9:16
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love Him. These are the people God chose, because that was His plan.Romans 8:28
So I run with purpose in every step. 1 Corinthians 9:26a
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him. Philippians 2:13
Hold firmly to the word of life; Philippians 2:16a
Oh, joy! Yes, just as for me, our Heavenly Father has a plan for you! We are here for a reason! I do desire for His power to flow through me so that I can share His love with others! Yes, we can sit around and make glorious plans for our lives, but in the end, when we seek His will for our lives, and desire for His plans to be our focus, the purpose that God has for our lives will prevail! I am confident that all things will work for the good, because I LOVE Him with all my being. I will walk through life with a purpose. I do…I do want to please Him! It’s just…I’m in waiting…I’m trying to be still and know (I’m just ready for the reveal). I feel much like those birds that were flying from branch to branch, but they probably had a plan for their fluttering around. HaHa.
As I sit here typing, with my jar of M&Ms (no judging), my heart is full of hope and peace, knowing that God is in control and has fabulous plans for my life. Whether they include any of my concocted ideas or not, I am convinced that my season of “I Don’t Know” is only temporary.
He has great plans for you as well.
Be still.
Seek Him.
Rest in His presence.
Believe, love, and trust in God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Be confident that when “you don’t know”, HE DOES.
Blessings to you and yours,
Stephanie