It appears that this topic comes up in life at any age. It starts in infancy with whom you socialize and surround your newborn with. It progresses through childhood during school and extra-curricular activities. In the teen years, yikes! When you enter young adulthood through college and the beginning of the world of work, this choice is still on the forefront of one’s mind. And on, and on until Jesus calls you home of comes.
What am I talking about? Choosing friends.
In my scripture reading I read Proverbs 13:20. It says, “Be friends with those who are wise, and you will become wise. Choose fools to be your friends, and you will have trouble.” In other words…Choose your friends wisely.
When I Googled those exact words an article on e-how.com appeared. The author gave the following 7 instructions and 3 tips and warnings on “How to Choose Your Friends Wisely”. The article says:
Your friends say a lot about you as a person. If you surround yourself with dishonest, unkind people, then their traits will eventually rub off on you somewhat. While no one is perfect, you shouldn’t spent lots of time with negative people who will only bring you down. Instead, choose friends that you admire. If your friends have solid character traits like intelligence, loyalty, kindness and dedication, you’ll see that they have a positive effect on your life. It’s perfectly fine for you to take your time in the beginning stages of a relationship in order to really choose your friends wisely.
Instructions:
- 1. Learn from your past friendships. If you’ve had some bad experiences with friends, assess those relationships and determine what went wrong in them. Pinpoint a few traits about those friends that weren’t positive. If you spot several of those traits in an acquaintance, he is likely not a good choice for a friend.
- 2. Socialize at solid places rather than bars and nightclubs. Join a local class or group that matches your interests, such as a book club or a biking group. If you are religious, many churches host social events regularly.
- 3. Go slowly. When you meet someone, it’s all right to hold back initially until you gauge if the person is the type of friend you’d like to have. Don’t share too many personal details about yourself until you have determined that the person is trustworthy.
- 4. Observe how the person treats others. Notice how she acts toward service people such as janitors, waiters and valet attendants. A truly nice person will treat everyone with respect.
- 5. Inquire about the person’s family. Even if someone is not close with his family, you can learn a lot about him by the way he talks about them. If he comes across as bitter or mean, it’s a signal that he may have issues in relationships.
- 6. Be honest. As you grow closer with someone, it’s important to set an honest foundation for the friendship. If your new friend seems dishonest at any point or if you catch her in a lie, it may be best to scale back on the friendship.
- 7. Respect your own time. If you feel like a new friend is displaying poor character traits, it’s perfectly acceptable for you to decide against furthering the friendship. Don’t feel guilty. Your time is valuable so only invest it in those that are worthy of it.
Tips and Warnings:
- Be a good friend to those who are already in your life.
- Try to embody the characteristics you seek out in friends. Your positivity will attract others like you.
- Don’t feel you have to befriend everyone you come across in life. Instead, be particular and you’ll end up with more quality friendships.
These guidelines sound like good advice. Learn from your mistakes, choose your “place to hang” wisely, be honest and respectful, and apply the Golden Rule.I could tell you a few of my own stories on friendship. Lessons learned for sure. But I feel the need to reserve that for another time and just share some scripture with you that is about friendship. Like the saying goes “Choose Your Friends Wisely”
John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
Proverbs 22:24-25, “Don’t be friends with people who become angry easily. Don’t stay around quick-tempered people. If you do, you may learn to be like them. Then you will have the same problems they do.”
1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
Luke 6:31, “Do to others as you would like them to do to you.” (The Golden Rule)
Romans 12:10 “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”
Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
I pray blessings of godly friendship for you.
The greatest friend of all is God. Are you a friend of God?
| May 15 |