For the past few weeks, my youngest son, Cole, will say a motto out of the blue. When he verbalizes it, I always think, “That sounds so familiar! Is it scripture?”
Then, recently I had a disagreement with a loved one. I keep racking my brain for understanding and giving it to God, but…it weighs on my heart…then I give it back to God…and I try to still be prayerful and make sense of it all…then throw it back to God. I guess you could say I’m having my own Ping-Pong match with God over this situation, when He’s over there thinking, “Child! I’ve got this! Leave it with me and have peace.”
After a current lengthy-one-sided-conversation with this other person (they wouldn’t say anything!), I arrived home, and again…out of the blue…Cole repeats, “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.”
Does that sound familiar to any of you as well?
Well, I searched it on the web and there it was. Stephen R. Covey, the author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, wrote those words as his fifth habit.
About 25 years ago, I completed the seminar, with the same title as Dr. Covey’s book, deciphering each habit and how to communicate with others. It was a powerful workshop.
Although Dr. Covey’s words are very wise, there was a man whom God made extremely wise.
God gave Solomon very great wisdom and understanding, and knowledge as vast as the sands of the seashore. In fact, his wisdom exceeded that of all the wise men of the East and the wise men of Egypt…He composed some 3,000 proverbs and wrote 1,005 songs. 1 Kings 4:29-30, 32
“Knowledge as vast as the sands of the seashore”? Wow! I love me some sand on the seashore, and that’s a whole lotta understanding.
We know that the bible is God-breathed. Well, His breath came through King Solomon’s penned words. He shared a few of his words of wisdom in the book of Proverbs.
These are the proverbs of Solomon, the son of David and king of Israel. 2 They will help you learn to be wise, to accept correction, and to understand wise sayings. 3 They will teach you to develop your mind in the right way. You will learn to do what is right and to be honest and fair. 4 These proverbs will make even those without education smart. They will teach young people what they need to know and how to use what they have learned. 5 Even the wise could become wiser by listening to these proverbs. They will gain understanding and learn to solve difficult problems. 6 These sayings will help you understand proverbs, stories with hidden meanings, words of the wise, and other difficult sayings. Proverbs 1:1-6
Stop. Go back and reread those six verses. Don’t take God’s word lightly. I’ll be here when you finish…
Okay, now a recap as to what the Proverbs will do:
- Help you…
- Learn to be wise (Yep, we aren’t born wise.)
- Accept correction (Whew, that’s a hard one for some, but so worth it, and humbling.)
- Understand wise sayings (seek understanding of wisdom, not just say or hear lip-service.)
- Teach you…
- Develop your mind in the right way. (No matter the age or stage we are in, we are a work in progress.)
- What you need to know and how to use this wisdom (We are always in The School of God. Be a good student.)
- We will learn to do what is …
- Right
- Honest
- Fair (ALL qualities we should strive for.)
- We will…
- Gain understanding (Daily.)
- Learn to solve difficult problems (There are plenty of those in life.)
Okay, so now you’ve read those wise words three times. (I’m not sorry for sharing again.) I remember as a student in school, and a teacher of my classes, that repetition always worked. I’m learning myself.
As wise as Solomon was, it all came for The Almighty.
In Romans 11:33-36, this doxology tells of the wisdom of God:
Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways! 34 For who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to give him advice? 35 And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back? 36 For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen. And AMEN!
The opposite of Dr. Covey’s fifth habit can be found in Proverbs 18:2, “Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.”
Well…since I didn’t want to be considered a fool in my aforementioned situation, and desired to seek understanding of the other person’s thought process, I continued to pray so that I could “seek to understand, then be understood”.
I felt God nudge me to write thought provoking questions down and share with the other person. I did. But, the kicker was…when I presented the questions to this someone, and they honestly shared their answers, I was NOT allowed to speak. So, as difficult as it was for me, I obeyed. I wrote questions, presented to my loved one, and sat there silently as I was seeking to understand them.
It is my prayer and desire for God’s will to be done in the end, for His wisdom to wash over us as we seek His path for our lives, and to Him be ALL the glory.
And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. Colossians 3:15-17
I pray that you will learn to seek understanding in situations, seek God’s wisdom and desire for your life, and live in the peace that can only come from our Lord Jesus Christ. To God be the glory.
And you know what? I DO feel God’s peace over the situation, and am leaving it in His court.
Blessings to you and yours,
Stephanie