There’s glory in the end:
I will never forget the day when our eldest son, Hunter, was about four years of age.  He had gone with me to the doctor’s office to hear the heartbeat of his future sibling.  This baby would be my third child.  We were excited to hear the swishing sound on the sonogram machine.  After several attempts and further testing, it was determined that the twelve week old fetus was no longer thriving.
My thoughts were sad, yet calm.  All throughout that short pregnancy I was thrilled, but something held me back from having a complete attachment.  It was as if God knew that this would happen, and He had been preparing my emotions for this heartbreak time in my life. Friend, nothing takes our Heavenly Father by surprise. He will use situations in our life to make us stronger and to build godly attributes in us.
The day after the discovery, I was pushing a shopping cart in a local store, Southern hospitality, as if it was a normal day.  Then the thought that I had a deceased baby inside of me just stopped me in my tracks.  I held back the tears, but my body felt weak and my mind was distraught.  I was due to have a DNC on the following Monday.
After the procedure, my emotions were confused.  I wanted to cry, yet knew that I had two beautiful and healthy children, and I needed to count my blessings.  Lying in bed, I expressed my thoughts to Tim.  He said, “Honey, you just lost a baby.  It is ok and good to cry.  Go ahead.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me while I had a good cry.
It was only three short months later when we were able to conceive again.
This time, the pregnancy felt real.  There was an instant attachment.
On January 11, 2002, our family was enlarged.  Hunter and Holly welcomed their new baby brother, Cole.  What a joy!
Hunter and Holly often say, as most older siblings say, “Cole is the favorite.” (see Who’s my favorite? )  Cole is pretty stinkin’ cute and compassionate, but he sure has his moments like they all do.
Today as we celebrate Cole’s twelfth birthday, I reflect back on his precious life.  He is a typical boy in all his likes.  Today’s party activities attest to it:  go-kart racing, playing four-square, air-soft gun war, football in the park, and video games.  Cole has aspirations of inventing something to make him a wealthy man, living on an island, and having a small bait and tackle shop as a hobby. (I will definitely visit him OFTEN and enjoy the “island life”.) In the meantime, he is a true “momma’s boy”, is a loyal friend, and lives each day bringing glory to God.
Our family is truly blessed by Cole’s compassion.  I pray his persistent personality pays off for him.
Everyone who meets Cole compliments us on his disposition, respectfulness, and his cutie pie looks. 
It amazes me, how even years later, Holly and Hunter have questioned, “I wonder if the baby you lost was a boy or girl and what it would be like.”  I quickly respond, “If that wouldn’t have happened, we wouldn’t have Cole.”  
I thank God each day for my children.  Psalms 127:3 says, “Children are a gift from the Lord, a reward from a mother’s womb.” A reward indeed!
Proverbs 22:6 states, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”  Tim and I raise our children to love the Lord with all of their heart, soul, mind and strength.  All we can do is pray for them, give them to God, and pray for God’s hand to be on them all the days of their lives.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cole!!!  I love you to the moon and back!

Hunter and Holly loving on their new baby brother.

Birthday…Race Day.